My Heart My Love
by iloveromance
Summary: Niles faces the difficult task of telling Daphne that he is needed at the hospital right away. A topic that could break both of their fragile and loving hearts in two. An AU version of what could have happened in between "Bristle While You Work" and "Rooms with a View". Told in Niles' First person POV.


With a heavy heart I pulled my car into the parking garage at the Montana and turned off the ignition. I suppose in a way the term "heavy heart" could be considered a pun, but in this case it's intended.

I had just come from the cardiologist, where to my dismay, I received some upsetting news. There was a problem with my EKG and I was to report to Seattle General Hospital immediately.

The idea left me more than a little shaken, but the thought of telling Daphne was even more upsetting.

She was a strong person and I knew that I shouldn't have been worried, but she was the kindest person that I'd ever could I not be worried about her? I loved her deeper than the depths of the deepest ocean-and even that is an understatement.

The cardiologist insisted that I go directly to the hospital but I was adamant about going home first. I simply could not tell Daphne this news over the phone.

It seemed cruel. After all, I hadn't told her where I was going in the first place. What kind of husband would I be if I were to upset her-and in such an uncaring way?

It took some convincing but I managed to assure my doctor that I would be at the hospital in less than two hours. He wasn't at all happy about it, but such is life.

My weakened heart beat faster as I entered my home and suddenly I had the irrational thought that once I left for the hospital, I would never see this place again.

"I'm home my love!" I called as I tried to control my voice, which was dangerously close to breaking.

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. I had to stay strong; if not for myself, then for Daphne.

When she appeared in the living room, I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. She was wearing the exact same clothing as when I had left, but somehow the news of my heart troubles increased my love for her in ten-fold.

I'd never been happier to see her than I was at that moment.

And as I'd done before, I crossed the room to take her into my arms for a series of passionate kisses. But as I suspected, she was unimpressed by my spontaneity and she quickly drew back.

"Something wrong, my love?"

"I think you_ know_ what's wrong, Niles! I asked you three times to clean out the birdcage and yet you insisted on leaving without so much as telling me where you were going! I thought this marriage was a partnership!"

She was clearly angry and she had every right to be. But it pained me beyond words to think that I was about to upset her even more.

"You said you'd do it as soon as you got home, so why don't you do it now?"

I could feel my heart breaking in anticipation of what I was about to say.

"A-actually, I can't."

"What do you mean,_ you can't_? Of _course_ you can! Just change your clothes and do it! It shouldn't take you more than a half hour! Honestly Niles, sometimes you remind me of Simon! He's the laziest bum I know! Me mum and dad were always telling him to get off his duff and help around the house! And I can't believe that me own husband can't respect me wishes and do one simple task!"

I swallowed hard and took her hands, hoping that my voice would remain steady.

"Niles, what's going on? All I asked is for you to do this one simple favor and-."

I silenced her with a kiss and it took all the strength within me not to deepen our passion. But as I glanced at the clock on the mantel I realized that I didn't have much time.

Still holding Daphne's hand, I guided her to the fainting couch and sat down beside her.

"Daphne, there's something I need to tell you."

Her eyes widened and I saw her swallow hard. And suddenly I wished I had begun another way. Those words always meant that bad news was coming.

"All right."

"When I left earlier, there was a reason that I didn't tell you where I was going."

"I don't understand."

"I had a cardiologist appointment."

And then she smiled and touched my shoulder. "Well, you could have told me that, Niles! I don't understand why you had to be so secretive about it! I mean, you have been to the doctor before."

"Well, yes but I didn't want to worry you, my love."

She kissed my cheek, a gesture I found even more romantic than when she kissed my lips. There was nothing quite like the feeling of her lips on my skin. But I couldn't think about that now.

"Oh Niles, that's very sweet of you, but I wish you would have told me anyway. I was a little worried while you were gone."

Feeling remorse for hurting her, I opened my mouth to speak, but she continued her thought.

"I'm sorry for getting so cross with you. Why don't we just forget about it and you can start on the birdcage? I'll even help you! Doesn't that sound romantic?"

When she laughed, I sighed deeply and glanced at the clock, alarmed at how late it had gotten. It was dangerously close to the time I had given the doctor for my arrival at the hospital.

I had to tell Daphne the news now, for there was no time to spare.

"Daphne, the cardiologist appointment didn't go so well, and... he wants me at Seattle General Hospital as soon as possible."

Her face went pale.

"What?"

I swallowed hard and prepared to tell her the whole story.

"Earlier at Café Nervosa I was having symptoms... a toothache, of which I assumed was a minor thing. But then other symptoms began and I realized that it might be related to my heart. So at Roz's suggestion, I made an appointment with a cardiologist."

She stared at me in disbelief. "Wait a minute... you mean Roz knows about this? And you didn't bother to tell me? Niles, I'm your wife!"

I ran my thumb back and forth against her smooth hand, knowing that it would do little to calm her anger.

"I know... and I'm so sorry, my love. I just... I didn't want to worry you... until I was sure."

"Sure about what?"

I reached out and brushed a fallen lock of hair from her forehead.

"The cardiologist found something on my EKG. Something that doesn't look good. So he wants me to go to Seattle General right away."

She was silent for a long time and the fact that she had no immediate reaction caused me to worry.

"Daphne, did you hear what I said? I have to go to the hospital right away."

Holding my hand, she rose from the fainting couch in one fluid motion.

"Then we'd best get you packed."

I was led up the stairs and into our bedroom, where she released me and retrieved my overnight bag from the closet. I then watched in some confusion as she took the bag and unzipped it before sitting it on the bed.

And that's when the realization of what I was doing set in. Reluctantly I began searching through my drawers for items to take to the hospital.

"Let's see... I'm not sure how long they're going to keep me, so I should probably bring a couple of pairs of pajamas and a change of clothing... um... and necessities of course."

The items in hand, I hurried to the bed and began packing my bag.

"Bring your royal blue robe, Sweetheart. It brings out your beautiful eyes and makes you look so handsome."

Her sweet words warmed me, and I paused to kiss her.

Noting the time, I increased my pace and hurried into the bathroom to retrieve my robe. But my steps slowed as I entered the bedroom.

"Daphne?"

Her back to me, she sat on the edge of the bed, sobbing. And forgetting all about my obligations, I went to her and took her into my arms.

She melted against me, dampening my shirt with her tears. I held her close, painfully aware of how tightly she was holding on-as though she couldn't let go.

"Oh my sweet angel, please don't cry. Everything will be all right."

As I said the words, I prayed that they weren't a lie and I held her even closer, stroking her back in slow, even motions.

"I love you so much, Niles..." She sobbed against my shirt. And I can't lose you! I love you so much, and I-I can't..."

I kissed her damp cheek and sighed. "I love you too, Daphne. More than you'll ever know. And whatever happens, we'll get through this together."

We kissed deeply and I was relieved when she calmed a bit. And finally she smiled.

"We'd better go, Darling. But first you'd better call Frasier and Martin. They can meet us at the hospital. Or better yet, I'll call them when we get there and explain everything."

At that moment, I was filled with so much love for my sweet angel that I felt tears from in my eyes. Tears that she brushed away with her thumbs.

"Don't worry, Sweetheart. I won't leave your side. I'll be with you always."

After embracing once more and sharing a series of tender kisses, I picked up my overnight bag and as we made our way to the car, I couldn't ignore the irony.

Just minutes before I had been the stronger one, comforting my wife in her time of unease. And now it seemed that the roles were reversed, with her comforting me.

As she drove us to the hospital I held her hand, unable to stop thinking about what she'd said.

_I'll be with you always._

And I realized that I didn't need convincing of that, for I'd known it since the day we'd first met.

For I always carried her in my heart.

**THE END**


End file.
